Article - Narcicissim

NARCISSISM

Narcissism, “Inordinate fascination with oneself; excessive self-love; vanity.” Random House Unabridged Dictonary, © Random House, Inc 2006, via dictionary.com The American Heritage Dictionary ads “see synonyms at conceit.”

The 1980s was given the dubious title of “the Me generation.” According to a study released last month (February, 2007), they have been outdone by our current generation. In an article entitled, “College students think they’re so special” the Associated Press cited the results of a survey of more than 16 thousand college students over 25 years, which rates the level of narcissism in its respondents, and noted that two thirds of students today had above average scores (based on the NPI – Narcissistic Personality Inventory – an evaluation introduced in 1982 to determine peoples attitudes about themselves) which was up by more than 30% from 1982. Reasons given for the trend include, the “self-esteem movement” introduced in the 80s, parental permissiveness, indulgence, and current technology (citing examples like myspace.com and youtube.com which encourage attention getting attitudes). In the study, nearly 75% thought that being “very well-off financially” was important. This was up from 62.5% in 1980 and 42% in 1966. Some of the consequences of this attitude include – unhealthy romantic relationships, a lack of empathy, aggressive reaction to criticism and promoting oneself over helping others and a feeling of entitlement. (See http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17349066/).

We are seeing the results of a steady diet of “you are special” with emphasis on the you for more than two decades now and it has gone to this generation’s head. On a daily basis we see selfish and arrogant behaviors manifested in every aspect of life. It is seen in the way our youth reacts toward their seniors and those in positions of authority. It is seen in the rude behaviors of drivers who think only of themselves. It is seen in our demand to get everything we want right now. It is seen when they expect everyone else to cater to them and treat them as the exception to whatever rules they choose to break. It is seen in the steady moral decline of our societies and nation.

As Christians we certainly ought to be concerned about this attitude because it reeks of ungodliness. Let us take a few moments to notice what the Bible has to say about this subject and our attitude about ourselves.

The Bible condemns this self-love attitude. In 2 Timothy 3:1-7 Paul cautions Timothy to be aware of those who act this way. He says, “But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come. For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away.” This list of selfish sins as I call it lists many of the very characteristics that have produced this narcissistic attitude. Note how it begins, “men will be lovers of themselves.” That is to say, they think more highly of themselves than they ought to. Like Narcissus of Greek mythology, who fell in love with his own reflection so much that he could not look away and perished, many today think the world revolves around them and their whims. They love themselves and they expect you to love them as well. In Philippians 2:21 Paul said, “For all seek their own, and not the things which are of Jesus Christ.” He was speaking of those who gave no thought to God in their daily pursuits. Like the rich fool of Luke 12:13-21, they seek to build bigger barns and live in ease, but they leave God out of the picture. In that parable, one with that attitude was doomed to eternal destruction. Romans 2:8 says, “but those who are self-seeking and do not obey the truth, but obey unrighteousness – indignation and wrath” awaits them. James describes this attitude as earthly, sensual and demonic. He also says that it leads to confusion and “every evil thing” (James 3:14-16). One might wonder why that is the case. It is this – when we are taught that the world revolves around us and to pursue whatever we want to pursue we are bound to clash with others who have the same attitude but different pursuits. NOW imagine a generation whose general mindset is like that! A generation in which, “everyone did what was right in his own eyes” (Judges 17:6, 21:25) and puts himself before others or the good of society. It will lead to chaos!

Not only is this attitude clearly condemned, it clashes with many traits that are to be associated with Christianity. Let us notice a few of these:

Christians are to be humble people. Humility is the opposite of arrogant pride. It means lowliness of mind and “the esteeming of ourselves small, inasmuch as we are so, the correct estimate of ourselves.” (Word Study Dictionary of the New Testament, Zhodhiates). Christians are to be a humble people. Philippians 2:3 says, “Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.” James 4:10 says, “Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.” It is imperative that Christians have a healthy view about themselves. When one thinks he is worth nothing and constantly belittles himself, he is not going to develop as a Christian ought to. One of my favorite passages is found in Romans 12:3 which says, “For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly, as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith.” The reason I like this verse is that it describes the Christian’s proper perspective about himself. It notes he is not to think more highly of himself than he ought to. Implied in that is that one ought to think highly of himself – that is, realize his self-worth and have a good outlook about what he is and what he can become (provided he is living right). This concurs with Titus 2:14 which refers to us as, “His own special people” (also 1 Peter 2:9). In this sense we are special and we ought to humbly acknowledge that. BUT, when that attitude causes one to look down upon others, become arrogant and prideful, to neglect one’s responsibilities toward them, etc., then there is a problem. This is the “It’s all about me” attitude that we are seeing in this generation AND that is condemned in scripture.

Christians are to be ‘other people’ minded. Contrary to what many think, “It’s not just about me!” The Christian life is one of serving others. In Philippians 2:4 after speaking of not acting selfishly, Paul said, “Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.” Following this he gives us the ultimate example – Jesus Christ (2:5-11). If there were ever an example of what it means to serve others – it was Jesus upon this earth. It was that attitude that He tried to instill in His apostles and that He expected them to follow after and teach. So much of what we study in the New Testament about Christian conduct addresses how we are to treat others. Attitude toward one another is highly emphasized (cf. Ephesians 4:1-3, Romans 14:19, Colossians 3:12-15, etc.). 6 different times in the New Testament we are told to love our neighbors as ourselves (Matthew 5:43, 19:19, 22:39; Romans 13:9, Galatians 5:14; James 2:8). We are to be concerned about the lost souls of others. And the list goes on. In all these things we find an attitude that tells us we cannot become self absorbed with what we want to do over others.

Before moving on, please consider this as well. We certainly have to be concerned about ourselves. When it comes to our salvation – we must work it out for ourselves (Philippians 2:12). And securing our salvation is a priority in our lives. Jesus taught that in Matthew 16:26, “What profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world and loses his own soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his own soul?” I heard a preacher say one time, “If you miss heaven, you’ve missed all there is!” He is exactly right. However, such a pursuit INCLUDES others in our life instead of dismissing them as insignificant.

Christians are to be content. When it comes to our possessions we need to be satisfied with what we have. Much of the problem with society today revolves around a materialistic attitude. The “me now” generation wants to make lots of money and have lots of things. While things are needed to live life, we almost always don’t need as many things as we want or think we need (or in our case, that we have in our possession already). The abundant blessings of America can be a curse if we possess this selfish attitude. While things are not wrong within themselves, Christians are taught contentment. Contentment means that no matter how much we have, we are satisfied with it. It means that we learn to live within our means, regardless of what those means might be. In Philippians 4:11 Paul said, “Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content.” He told Timothy, “Now godliness with contentment is great gain” (1 Timothy 6:6).

These are a few of the Christian attitudes that tell us we ought to be concerned about the state of so many today in our society. While society may be driven by self-centeredness and materialism, we must be careful not to get caught up in their ways. In fact, when we act like Christians should in these matters, it is one way that we set ourselves apart from the world (John 17:14-16, James 4:4). A sinful attitude will condemn the soul just as much as sinful actions. Think before you think about yourself. TATJR