Can't We Get Along

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A series of 4 articles dealing with the importance of striving to "get along" with each other and noting why we often cannot accomplish this desire of God. Scroll down the page or click below.

Article 1

Article 2

Article 3

Article 4

“Can’t we all just get along?”

Most of us have heard this saying before. It has been said by presidents, other politicians and celebrities, usually calling for compromise on some controversial issue. It has also become a mantra in the religious world among denominations and interdenominational churches (e.g. community churches). And now, we are also finding this to be the cry among brethren as well. Usually this is the cry of men, but - what does God want?

First of all, let it be understood that God DOES want us to get along with each other. Unity is not just a suggestion within the Lord’s church, it is commanded.

Writing to the church at Corinth, Paul’s first subject is the call for unity. He began by saying, “Now I plead with you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment.” (1 Corinthians 1:10) Following this he expresses his concerns about the divisions that he has heard about (1:11-17). After contrasting the wisdom of man with God’s wisdom he then rebukes them because of their carnality. He said, “And I, brethren, could not speak to you as to spiritual people but as to carnal, as to babes in Christ. I fed you with milk and not with solid food; for until now you were not able to receive it, and even now you are still not able; for you are still carnal. For where there are envy, strife, and divisions among you, are you not carnal and behaving like mere men? For when one says, "I am of Paul," and another, "I am of Apollos," are you not carnal?” (1 Corinthians 3:1-4)
To the church at Philippi, Paul said, “Therefore if there is any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, 2 fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind.” (Philippians 2:1-2)
To Ephesus he wrote, “I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” Ephesians 4:1-3
Peter wrote, “Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous;” 1 Peter 3:8
And then there is the prayer of Jesus, “I do not pray for these alone, but also for those who will believe in Me through their word; that they all may be one, as You, Father, are in Me, and I in You; that they also may be one in Us, that the world may believe that You sent Me.” (John 17:20-21)

There are many other passages that could be added to these which show that God WANTS us to get along and be united as brethren. In fact it is so important that steps are to be taken to deal with factious brethren. Paul told the church at Rome, “Now I urge you, brethren, note those who cause divisions and offenses, contrary to the doctrine which you learned, and avoid them.” (Romans 16:17). Of course this text is not saying that because someone strongly disagrees with you that they are necessarily causing trouble. Paul’s warning in this text was directed toward false teachers.

There is a good example of this in 1 Kings 18. On one occasion, when Elijah was sent to wicked King Ahab by the Lord, the king saw him and said, “Is that you, O troubler of Israel?” (18:17) Elijah responded by saying, “I have not troubled Israel, but you and your father's house have, in that you have forsaken the commandments of the LORD and have followed the Baals.” (18:18)

Far too often getting along with each other is not possible - because it involves compromise. This is the flaw of the denominational concept of unity. They teach “unity in diversity” stating that as long as we agree on a few basic principles (i.e. Jesus is the Son of God, He is our only hope of salvation, etc.) that we can still fellowship each other. We can never compromise God’s word and be pleasing to Him. Paul wrote to the churches of Galatia saying, “As we have said before, so now I say again, if anyone preaches any other gospel to you than what you have received, let him be accursed.” (Galatians 1:9) The idea of being accursed is to be cut off or as we say, “withdrawn from.”

Peter’s warning to his audience was against following false teachers who “will secretly bring in destructive heresies, even denying the Lord who bought them, and bring on themselves swift destruction. And many will follow their destructive ways, because of whom the way of truth will be blasphemed.” 2 Peter 2:1-2. John told us, “Whoever transgresses and does not abide in the doctrine of Christ does not have God. He who abides in the doctrine of Christ has both the Father and the Son. If anyone comes to you and does not bring this doctrine, do not receive him into your house nor greet him; for he who greets him shares in his evil deeds.” 2 John 9-11. So we can see that we need to stand up for the truth even if it means we can’t get along. When it comes to the faith, there is simply no room for compromise. Sadly, far too many are not willing to sit down and discuss God’s word openly and with a view toward unity that pleases Him. They come to the table with preconceived ideas and doctrines that they will not budge on, even if they are shown to be in error. Their minds are made up and you are not going to change them. Sometimes both sides of a discussion have this attitude. When such happens we will NOT get along.

When compromise of God’s word is achieved, people may be getting along with each other, but then there is a bigger problem – they are NOT getting along with God. Let me ask, which is worse: Being at odds with people or with God? Honesty will answer that question in a way that we will all agree. Think about it.

There are other times though, that we can’t get along because of brethren who are unyielding in matters of liberty. They cannot get along because of their attitudes. Such is condemned in God’s word. Many churches have divided because of such. In our next article, we will examine that attitude as it applies to the subject at hand. TATJR

“Can’t we all just get along?” (2)

The title of this article is a saying we have all heard at one time or another. In our society it has become very popular and is usually a call for two sides that are deeply divided to come together and work out their differences or reach some sort of compromise. In matters political, economical, diplomatically and other areas of life, such is commendable and an avenue to be pursued often. It is also an attitude to consider in religious matters as well.

In our last article we established first that God desires unity. This is especially true among brethren (1 Corinthians 1:10, Philippians 2:1-2, Ephesians 4:1-3). However, you cannot compromise truth in order to achieve unity. Such is what far too many strive to do today. Even among brethren, there are certain issues that they would have us “sweep under the carpet” so that we can all just get along. If you have to sell the truth to achieve compromise, you have sold your soul. Consider this – when you seek to change the truth (or bury it) what you have left is NOT the truth anymore. Solomon wrote, “Buy the truth and do not sell it.” (Proverbs 23:23) Paul told Timothy, “Hold fast the pattern of sound words which you have heard from me…” (1 Timothy 1:13)

That having been said, as brethren we MUST understand that God wants unity. He wants us to get along with each other. I am afraid that much of the division and bitterness between brethren is not over doctrinal issues, but an improper attitude toward one another. ALSO, at times when there are differences in beliefs this same improper attitude prevails which hinders or prevents adequate study and dialogue needed to come to a godly agreement. In this article we want to begin examining the type of attitude we need toward our brethren so that unity can prevail. Let us begin by noticing attitudes that hinder godly unity.

As we study our Bibles we find that many of the confrontations we read about were the result of ungodly attitudes. Why did Jesus have so many enemies? Some misunderstood His teachings and didn’t bother to investigate what He said. Some listened to what others said about Him. Some just didn’t like Him and scrutinized everything He said and did, looking for faults so they might accuse Him. Some loved the praise of men more than the truth He taught. Some saw their way of life threatened and they we not willing to change. Some had made up their minds that they were right and He was wrong. Others, for whatever reason, were simply unwilling to honestly discuss the truth with Him. Such attitudes prompted some of Jesus’ strongest condemnations and teachings. Read Matthew 23 where some of the leaders were referred to as hypocrites who expected others to do what they were unwilling to do (4), preferred the praise of men (5-7), shut out others from the truth (13-15), twisted the law (16-22), neglected proper attitudes such as justice, mercy and faith (23), and offered false praise concerning their fathers. Jesus exposed their attitudes and warned them of what awaited them (24-26). On another occasion when asked why He taught in parables, he said, “Therefore I speak to them in parables, because seeing they do not see, and hearing they do not hear, nor do they understand. And in them the prophecy of Isaiah is fulfilled, which says:

'Hearing you will hear and shall not understand, And seeing you will see and not perceive; For the hearts of this people have grown dull. Their ears are hard of hearing, And their eyes they have closed, Lest they should see with their eyes and hear with their ears, Lest they should understand with their hearts and turn, So that I should heal them.'” (Matt 13:13-15). Notice how it was their improper hearts (the source of their attitudes) that caused them to be unable to understand. Concerning the traditions they were binding on others, Jesus answered their question about His disciples not keeping them by saying, “Why do you also transgress the commandment of God because of your tradition?... Thus you have made the commandment of God of no effect by your tradition. Hypocrites! Well did Isaiah prophesy about you, saying: "These people draw near to Me with their mouth, And honor Me with their lips, But their heart is far from Me. And in vain they worship Me, Teaching as doctrines the commandments of men.'" Matthew 15:3-9. As a result of such attitudes, eventually they viewed Him as such a threat that their only solution was to murder Him (John 11:49-50). And they did. As you study the life of Jesus you see the type of attitude that wants godly unity and you see the attitude that divides.

A similar study could be made of the life of Paul. The book of 2 Corinthians was written to correct false accusations that had called into question both his apostleship and his ministry. As He tried to preach the gospel, everywhere he went, enemies soon followed and stirred up crowds against him and anyone who dared stand behind him. They tried to have him assassinated and do anything they could to stop him and his teaching. They falsely accused him before leaders. Another interesting observation was that on occasions there were some who gladly heard him at first, but because of prejudice and hate, they turned on him (cf. Acts 13:42-45, 22:20-23). Why? He summed it up best in Galatians 4:6 where he said, “Have I therefore become your enemy because I tell you the truth?”

I find interesting the numerous passages that warn and rebuke brethren as they behaved badly toward one another. In 1 Corinthians 1:11-13 Paul spoke of the divisions among them. In chapter 3 he refers to this attitude as carnal (as opposed to godly). He said, “for where there are envy, strife and divisions among you, are you not carnal and behaving like mere men?” (3) He told the churches of Galatia, “But if you bite and devour one another, beware lest you be consumed by one another!” (Galatians 5:15). To the church at Ephesus he said, “Therefore, putting away lying, "Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor," for we are members of one another. "Be angry, and do not sin": do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil. … Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. … Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice.” (Ephesians 4:25-31) Philippians 2:14 says, “Do all things without complaining and disputing”. He told Titus, “But avoid foolish disputes, genealogies, contentions, and strivings about the law; for they are unprofitable and useless. Reject a divisive man after the first and second admonition, knowing that such a person is warped and sinning, being self-condemned.” (3:9-11). Peter said of those to whom he was writing, “Therefore, laying aside all malice, all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and all evil speaking, as newborn babes, desire the pure milk of the word, that you may grow thereby,” (1 Peter 2:1-2)

From all these passages we can see that an improper attitude was of a great concern in the first century. They were written to brethren who worshipped together and were a part of the same congregation in their city. Through inspiration these writers understood the divisive nature of such attitudes and warned against them over and over. It is just as much a concern today.

Sadly, I am convinced that godly unity will never be achieved in the religious world today. There are far too many doctrinal differences and hardened hearts that are unwilling to study the issues that divide us. But even sadder to me is to see division among brethren. Not division over doctrinal differences, but the very attitudes mentioned in this article. I have been in towns of only a few hundred people where there was more than one congregation with the same beliefs. The only reason they were divided was personalities – sometimes generations old. How sad! How will we ever reach a lost and dying world when we can’t get along among ourselves? (John 13:34-35) May it never be! In our next article we will notice the type of attitude that we DO need so that we can just get along.

“Can’t we all just get along?” (3)

We have been discussing the above statement the past two articles. We have noted that it is an important concept that is needed in various aspects of life, including in the religious world. God has always called for unity, especially among brethren. If things are what they ought to be, we will be making every effort possible to promote and maintain unity. Yet in spite of this, unity is not always possible. It was not always achieved during the first century and there has been great religious division ever since. We live in a world, where we are more religiously divided than ever before. Sadly, where unity is achieved, it is often in the name of compromise. When God’s word is compromised, unity is an unacceptable option.

But, as noted in our last article, often there is division among brethren that is only there because of improper attitudes. Such attitudes caused great dissention between Jesus and His enemies. It caused many first century Christians to be persecuted. It caused brethren to mistreat one another in congregations. We noted the type of attitudes we are to strive and avoid – Galatians 5:15, Ephesians 4:25-31, Philippians 2:14, Titus 3:9-11, 1 Peter 2:1-2. Until we put aside such divisive attitudes, we will never get along with each other. James 3:13-17 says, “But if you have bitter envy and self-seeking in your hearts, do not boast and lie against the truth. This wisdom does not descend from above, but is earthly, sensual, demonic. For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there.” Many other passages could be added to these and we could spend much time studying each of them to better understand this evil, ungodly attitude that divides. In this article we begin to look at the attitude we NEED to have if we are to get along.

First of all consider the teachings of Jesus. Having noted that Jesus had many enemies who simply did not want to “get along” with Him, it was not because such was His desire. He taught attitudes that promote unity. In fact we read on occasion how His disciples disputed between themselves. Jesus did NOT commend them in this, but rather He took the occasions to teach. Consider the following:

He emphasized the importance of being servants. He said in Mark 10:42-45, "You know that those who are considered rulers over the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. Yet it shall not be so among you; but whoever desires to become great among you shall be your servant. And whoever of you desires to be first shall be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many." If we want true unity, we must never forget, “It’s not about me!”
Associated with being servants, He taught humility. He said, “Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. (Matthew 18:3-5) He demonstrated this just before He was betrayed by washing His disciple’s feet (John 13:1-15). Paul said of His humility in Philippians 2:5-8, “Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross.” Humility helps us realize we need each other.
Jesus taught about love. First, He did so by example. John 13:1 says, “Now … when Jesus knew that His hour had come that He should depart from this world to the Father, having loved His own who were in the world, He loved them to the end.” Continually we are reminded of His love for us. Galatians 2:20 says, “I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.” Concerning His example Jesus said, “These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full. This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends.” (John 15:11-14) Understanding this, Paul said, “Therefore be imitators of God as dear children. And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma.” (Ephesians 5:1-2).
Finally, Jesus also said to his disciples, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another." John 13:34-35. Love for one another is key in getting along and achieving a like precious faith
He spoke of forgiveness. Teaching us to pray, Jesus said, For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” (Matthew 6:14-15). When asked about how often one ought to forgive, Jesus said, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.” (Matthew 18:22-23)
Jesus also warned against being quick to judge our brethren (and others). Matthew 7:1-3 says, “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you.” On another occasion He said, “Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment” (John 7:24)
Add to this, that He said, “You have heard that it was said, 'An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.' But I tell you not to resist an evil person. But whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also.” (Matthew 5:38-40) In this, Jesus noted at times we need to absorb things that are said or even done to us, if it will promote a godly attitude.
Finally, Jesus taught what we sometimes call the golden rule. “Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets” (Matthew 7:12)

In our next article, we will notice some of what the epistles have to say about this. Notice that these articles have contained many scriptures, some with very little comment. The reason for this is to impress upon us how much the Bible actually says about this attitude that we ought to strive to achieve. Perhaps at another time, we will study these attitudes in greater detail [if you would like that, let me know – TATJR]. If we are not getting along with each other as we ought to the first place we need to look is attitude. What about your attitude toward the brethren? Is it the same attitude we read about in the teachings of Jesus? Think about it.

Can’t we all just get along? (4)

We continue to briefly examine the attitude every Christian needs if we are to get along as we ought to. In our study thus far we have noted how God desires unity, but not at the cost of compromise. Sadly, total unity in the religious world will never be achieved because man seeks to establish his own religion, rather than following God’s word. True unity must come from a united source and a united desire to serve Him. But often unity fails to prevail simply because of attitudes or as they are sometimes called, personality conflicts. It is with such disputes that we have noted the types of attitudes that are condemned in God’s word, such as hatred, jealousy, envy, bitterness, selfishness, backbiting, gossip, contentions, etc. And, in our last article we noted the attitude Jesus taught we are to strive to achieve – including the importance of being a servant, humility, godly love, forgiveness, proper judging and the golden rule (Matthew 7:12). In this article we continue our study of the proper attitude that will help promote godly unity by noting what is written in the epistles.

In all matters, let there be love. Godly love in which we care for another as we ought to. 1 Corinthians 12:31-13:3, “But earnestly desire the best gifts. And yet I show you a more excellent way. Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.”
Pursue peace. Romans 14:19, “Therefore, let us pursue the things which make for peace and the things by which one may edify another.” This is a passage that is addressing Christian liberties, or those things not specified in God’s word about which He is indifferent (i.e. what we eat, observing certain days, etc.). Much of the dissention that occurs of which we are addressing in this study is a result of such matters. Brethren demand that things be done their way or else. Of such things, Paul says we need to learn to overcome the attitudes that have originated as a result of these differences (Romans 14:1-4, 13) and learn to get along with each other.
When possible, we need to seek to edify our brethren by thinking about them. 1 Corinthians 10:23-24, “All things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful; all things are lawful for me, but not all things edify. Let no one seek his own, but each one the other's well-being.”
Note: Seeking the well being of our brethren does not always mean giving in to them or that they should get their way. You can never do that which you doubt to be right (Romans 14:22-23) or leave the impression that you approve of behavior you believe to be wrong (2 John 9-11)
Don’t take advantage of your brethren. Galatians 5:13-14, For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this: "You shall love your neighbor as yourself."
The fruit of the Spirit describes the type of disposition we are to possess in all we do. Galatians 5:22-26, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. And those who are Christ's have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.”
A short list of attitudes is mentioned in Ephesians 4:1-4, “I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”
Ephesians 4:25-32 calls for kindness, forgiveness and other attitudes. It says, “Therefore, putting away lying, "Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor," for we are members of one another. "Be angry, and do not sin": do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil. … 29 Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers… 32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”
According to Philippians 2:1-4 we need to work at being likeminded, seeking the wellbeing of others. It says, “Therefore if there is any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.”
Another list of attitudes is found in Colossians 3:12-15, “Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful.”
In one of his letters, Peter said, “Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous; not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing.” 1 Peter 3:8-10,

Thus we can see that God’s word has much to say about the type of attitude we need to have. When such attitudes are in place we are ready to deal with our idiosyncrasies, differences, weaknesses and matters of liberty in our lives. It cannot be stressed enough that EVERYONE involved must possess these attitudes for successful dialogue in addressing and overcoming our differences. Only then can we truly “get along with each other".