WHAT’S HURTING US RIGHT NOW?
Crippled Families
As we continue our study of “What’s hurting us right now?” we are now dealing with some of the results of lives filled with worldliness. Last night we noted the lack of personal evangelism/work and what we need to do about that. Tonight, we will notice how it is affecting our families and why this is so important.
A. One reason this is such an important subject is because the home is the foundational unit of society. What the family becomes will determine what society AND the church will become. If our families in general are worldly, society will be that way. And there is good chance it will bleed into the church as well. If families are godly in general, it will have an effect on society and the church.
B. The Bible has much to say about what the family is and the responsibilities of each unit within a family, whether it be the husband/wife relationship and/or the parent/child relationship. In our lesson tonight, we will not deal extensively with these – but let it be understood that many of our problems are a result of abusing or ignoring the Biblical pattern for the home.
A. What is a “crippled family”?
1. We hear today of the “dysfunctional family”. The word is defined as, “abnormal or impaired functioning, especially of a bodily system or organ.” (American Heritage Dictionary, 3rd edition)
2. For the body to work properly every system needs to work properly. When one or more systems is not working, as it ought to it affects the rest of the body. It is crippled or dysfunctional
3. The same is true with the family. When all systems are not as they ought to be, the family suffers to the degree there are problems. As we speak of the dysfunctional family, it is one laden with problems that hinder it from being what God would have it to be.
4.
Society is filled with families laden with
problems. And Christian families are not exempt. Virtually every congregation
has families that are not as they ought to be. They are filled with problems
and everyone in them suffers.
AND as these families suffer, the church is also affected.
B. Many of these problems are associated with worldliness.
1.
Marital infidelity
Nothing will tear a family apart quicker than marital infidelity.
It is spitting upon vows that were made in the presence of God and many
witnesses (Eccl. 5:4-5).
Malachi 2:13-15 says, “And this is the second thing you do: You cover the
altar of the LORD with tears, With weeping and crying; So He does not regard the
offering anymore, Nor receive it with goodwill from your hands. 14 Yet you say,
"For what reason?" Because the LORD has been witness between you and the wife of
your youth, With whom you have dealt treacherously; Yet she is your companion
And your wife by covenant. 15 But did He not make them one, Having a remnant of
the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your
spirit, And let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth”
How seriously does God view this? It is the ONLY provision Jesus gave for the
innocent party to divorce and remarry (Matthew 19:9)
Once a person cheats, the relationship and family will never be the same again.
Lack of trust, etc.
2.
Divorce and remarriage
Our society is filled with unlawful divorces. Such is NOT pleasing to God
Malachi 2:16 continues by saying, Mal 2:16, “For the LORD God of Israel says
that He hates divorce, For it covers one's garment with violence," Says the LORD
of hosts. "Therefore take heed to your spirit, That you do not deal
treacherously."”
Add to this the way this issue has divided the Lord’s church. There are
numerous problems we have to deal with because of divorce.
· What do we do when it is believed that someone in the congregation is in an unscriptural or questionable relationship?
· What do we do when someone seeks to identify with us and we do not know if they are scripturally married?
· What do we do when members of the congregation disagree?
· What about using preachers for gospel meetings that are not “sound” concerning divorce and remarriage?
· What do we do when we discover someone who we are studying with is in an unscriptural marriage?
I AM convinced that Satan LOVES divorce because of the damage it is wreaking within the Lord’s body, not to mention families. And when we compromise God’s word, he is just as pleased.
3.
Lack of commitment to the marriage relationship
There are marriages among Christians where the couple know better than to
divorce. But their marriage is nothing more than a mere existence. Some
couples just tolerate each other. While it is commendable that they do not
divorce, IS THIS REALLY WHAT GOD WANT MARRIAGE TO BE?
Time will not permit an examination of how we are to love each other and treat
each other with honor.
4.
Parents who rely on worldly “experts” instead of
God and His word
As Christians we have in our possession the best marriage and parenting manual
in existence – THE BIBLE!
Yet far too many think that someone with a degree from a godless university
knows better how to raise our children or treat our spouse rather than our
creator.
When parents fail to adequately discipline their children, they are NOT helping
them. The Bible says that such HATE their children – Proverbs 13:24, “He who
spares his rod, HATES his son, but he who loves him, disciplines him promptly”
Yes, we can learn from those who have done extensive study in a particular field
and there are times we need “professional help”. BUT, we should NEVER go to one
who doesn’t reverence God.
5. Parents who think the world revolves around their children.
a.
It is NOT a good thing to give your children
everything they want. We have addressed the problems with this including
materialism and selfishness.
But it also leads to an attitude where they do not learn to appreciate what they
do have. They do not understand true VALUE. Like the infant who plays with
the box instead of the expensive toy.
b.
SOME parents think their children can do no wrong.
It’s always the other person’s fault. When they fail in school year after year,
its because the teachers are incompetent. If a child is always in trouble, rest
assured, HE HAS SOMETHING to do with it.
We are NOT doing our children any favor by defending them when they do that
which is wrong.
There is an example in judges of a woman who praised he son for doing wrong –
Judges 17:3 where a son admitted stealing from his mother. She took the money
and had an altar built an altar which became a great source of problems.
1. Realize that our spiritual relationship with God can be affected by the home
a.
It can affect our perception of Christ and His
church, God as our Father and other such concepts. When the home is not what it
ought to be it could affect the perception of God’s word concerning these
things. How is a child to learn about his relationship to Christ? The way a
husband treats his wife and the way a wife submits to her husband – Ephesians
5:22-25, 32
A father ought to realize that the way he treats his family will leave an
impression about how God treats His family. Do they by our example see God as a
tyrant, etc.?
b.
Family problems can also physically hinder our
service to Him – Matthew 5:23-24, does this apply to the husband/wife
relationship as well
What about 1 Peter 3:7 – note that when our relationship with our wife is not
what it ought to be, our prayers can be hindered.
c. Furthermore, HOW can we teach our family, if we are not practicing what we preach?
2. Understand what God would have you to be within the home. Whatever role you have, learn what God would have you to do and work at it. Many of our worldly problems are a result of confusing our God given roles.
a.
Husbands need to be leaders – God gave the man the
role of headship. No matter what society says, God’s word still needs to be
respected. On of the biggest problems our homes today are husbands who refuse
to take their God given lead. Either they do not fulfill their responsibilities
OR they abuse their role.
Ephesians 5:22-25 – God made man the head.
b. Wives need to understand their role – Worldliness has confused the role of the wife and degraded her God given role. Understand, God did not intend for her position to be degrading – 1 Peter 3:7
c.
Don’t underestimate the importance of Godly
parenting
Deuteronomy 6:6-9 points to the responsibilities we have as parents
Ephesians 6:4 speaks of fathers, not provoking their children to wrath, but
rather bringing them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
IF there is to be any hope for the future of the church, it lies in parenting!
It is in the home where children need to learn about God, their godly roles,
relationships, etc It is in the home they need to learn respect and punishment
and accountability.
3.
Have Home Bible Studies
This is a major key in determining how spiritual a family will be.
Note the example of Timothy in 2 Timothy 1:5 & 3:14,15
Each person in the family needs his own Bible and there needs to be a specified
time when we come together to study God’s word.
IF you cannot have a family study everyday, start with a couple of times a
week. BUT your goal ought to be to work toward everyday (at least 5 days a
week).
And don’t forget to include prayer in your studies.
NOTE: There are several systems compiled by brethren to help assist you in
determining what to study as a family.
Investing a little time as a family studying God’s word on a regular basis will
go a long way in building stable, godly families that will remain intact even in
the face of trouble.
4.
De-emphasize worldliness in the home
If we determine that our family is too worldly, we need to take steps.
Maybe we need to turn the television off a little more.
Eat meals together as a family (with the television, computer, stereo, etc.
off). One person said that when it comes to families, the way you spell love is
T-I-M-E!
Maybe we need to spend less money on worldly pursuits (1 Corinthians 6:12).
Teach your children about priorities by doing that which is godly with your time
– visiting the sick, going to Gospel meetings, spending time with our fellow
members, working on reaching our lost friends and relatives.
The home ought to be a place where we can escape from ungodliness and worldliness. It ought to be a safe-haven for serving God instead of part of the problem. Truly, Satan is launching an assault on our homes from every direction. We must be aware of this and determine that we are going to make our family what GOD would have it to be. Remember, as the family goes, so goes the church. What shape are our homes in?