DO YOU CARE ABOUT YOUR FAMILY?

    Relationships are every thing in Christianity. Under ideal circumstances, there is no relationship that is more important than the family relationship. And that fact should emphasize why caring is so important within the family. In this article we want to notice why and how we need to care within the family.
    It is no secret that the traditional family is under assault. Far too many “families” today are ladened with serious problems. Whether we want to admit it as a society or not, many of these problems exist because people don’t care. One reason the divorce rate is as high as it is, is because couples don’t care to work out their differences, or they do not take the act of marriage seriously in the first place (This may only apply to one spouse). Children are often raised in one-parent families because the other parent simply does not care about them. When children are abused or neglected it is a result of carelessness. Children are being born out of wedlock (and experiencing all the problems associated with it), deserted or even aborted (murdered) because of people who selfishly think only about their self-gratification instead of caring about the consequences of their lusts. Too many parents leave their young children at a daycare facility every day, or at home to be “supervised” by the television or Nintendo system, because they care more about making money than they do about the spiritual health of their children. Many more examples could be given that show a lack of caring in many families. NOTE: I am not saying that all persons who find themselves in these circumstances don’t care, but an honest examination will find that more often than not, such things happen because SOMEONE somewhere didn’t care enough to consider the consequences. And as a society we have chosen to turn our heads to the REAL source of the problem: lack of true morality!
    The family of God. First of all it is worthy of note, that one description of Christians is that of a family. God is continually referred to as our Father (Matthew 6:9; 23:9; 1 Peter 1:17), and we are brothers and sisters in Christ (Mark 3:35; Romans 16:1; Philippians 2:25; 2 Peter 3:15; etc.). As you study the conduct of Christians, you see a family that cares for one another (See previous lessons). And many of these traits are learned from the family unit you read about in the Bible.

    Let us notice some ways that we care within the family:

We care by fulfilling our roles. It is no secret that for a family to function properly and efficiently, every member must carry out its part. If you are a husband and/or a father, you need to act like what the Bible says a husband and father ought to be. If you are the wife and/or mother, you must execute your God given responsibilities. Children need to honor their parents and obey their instructions. The New Testament clearly outlines each of these roles. If we care about the family being what God would have it to be, we will learn these roles and live them to the best of our ability, even when the decisions are tough or unpopular. And IF everyone will do their part, the potential for a solid, healthy family (both physically and spiritually) will GREATLY increase.
We show that we care by bringing God into our homes. The main reason the family unit is not what it ought to be today is because we have placed God on a back burner. While most homes have a copy of the Bible, it does little more than occupy space on a bookshelf. What we watch on television and listen to on the radio rarely portrays God or religion in a positive light. And many Christian homes are not much better. How much do we care about God in our homes? How often do we pray as a family? How often do we study the Bible together? Are individual prayer and study encouraged? How often does God surface in our conversations with our children? What do we watch and listen to (Would Jesus be pleased)? What place does God have in our family budget? What types of activities do we do as a family (e.g. Do we go to Gospel Meetings? Do we visit the sick and shut-ins?)? How much do our children see that we care in our homes? And by the way, the primary responsibility rests with the father/husband. He is the one who is to, “bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4) And the husband is, “the head of the wife, as also Christ is the head of the church.” (Ephesians 5:23). If Jesus were to visit our homes today, would He feel welcome, or like a stranger? Think about it!
In our next article, we will continue to examine what the Bible has to say about how much we care in the home.

We care by instilling Godly moral values in our children. Many different sources are competing for our children’s moral values. Public schools will teach them one set of values while the entertainment industry will tell them something else. Their peers might have a totally different standard of morality, which can be either good or bad. Hopefully, the church will instill the proper standard for moral living, as God would have it. And the home will either reinforce these values or teach different ones? It all depends on what we care about and how much. We must never forget that the home is the foundation block of society. As the home goes, so goes society.
We care by putting a proper perspective on things. One of the biggest mistakes parents can make is to give their children everything they ask for. When we do this, we are rearing our children to be selfish and uncaring as they go through life. Both of these attitudes can condemn a soul to Hell. One cannot seek the kingdom of God first (Matthew 6:33) if they are driven by things in this life. Jesus Himself taught this in Matthew 6:24 where He said, “You cannot serve God and mammon (riches)”. When we cater to our children’s every whim and desire, at the very least we are being careless as we try to TELL them that they ought to put God FIRST in this life. Our actions betray our words. Our children can also see this inconsistency when we live our lives for the pursuit of things. I am convinced that most parents want what is best for their children and in giving them what they want they THINK that it is because they care. And in a way, their actions are a result of their love and affection for their children. BUT, is it what is BEST? If children are to glean a proper perspective about this world and the next one, we have to think deeper than immediate gratification. Sometimes we care more when we DON’T give them what they want. Understand that I am not saying that earthly possessions are wrong. We need things and fathers are even commanded to make a living and provide physical needs for his family. And even having extra is not wrong, but we can become careless and fail to place them in their proper place. Do our children see where our concerns really lie? How much do we care about what they see?
We care when we discipline our children. Continually the Bible speaks of the importance of discipline within a family. Parents are given the role of teaching, praising and punishing their children depending on the circumstances. To fail to do so is spiritual neglect. The concept of what it means to really care is clearly defined in the scriptures in this area. Solomon wrote, “He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him promptly.” Proverbs 13:24. Too often, parents will not punish their children (or punish them adequately) because they, “love them too much to see them hurting”. It is easier to let them misbehave or do whatever they want than it is to punish them. But note that Solomon said that such conduct is to HATE your child. The consequences of failing to discipline a child may not be seen immediately, but in time they will appear. Consider the example of Eli as he failed to restrain his sons (1 Samuel 3:13). As Priests, they became obnoxious and rebelled against God. Eli was condemned because he had failed to discipline his sons. Think about this: If we let our children do whatever they want to do and fail to restrain them, when they grow up and want nothing to do with God because they don’t understand the concept of punishment and putting spiritual things first, did our sparing the rod really love them in the best possible way?
We care by solving problems in a godly manner. We all face various problems in this life. It is not when everything is going good, but when the tough times come around that what we really care about manifests itself. We are told that good can come from adversity (James 1:2-3) when we learn to turn to God (1 Peter 5:7). And in the home our children are watching us as we deal with whatever difficulties come our way. In troubled times, do we turn to God for help or do we “lose it” and act in a fit of rage or seek some other worldly solution?
Finally, in the home is where we teach our children to care. In the examples of caring we have noticed in this article, the parental example is ever so prevalent. If caring is really important to us, we will live in such a way that others know how much we care and our children will see it. But we will also teach it diligently to our children. Early on they need to learn how important it is that in all they do, they must care enough to sacrifice for what is best.
In closing, we have studied the subject of the importance of caring in great detail. How much do you really care? Now is the time for honest examination. If you find that you are not what you ought to be, repent and do better starting now. Or do you really care? Think about it!