DO YOU CARE ABOUT YOUR BRETHREN?

One of the greatest blessings a Christian has is a brotherhood that he can turn to for strength and help in dealing with the troubles of this life. Whether it be temptations, illness, grief, pressing attitudes or even physical needs he can turn to brethren who care and desire to help in whatever way they can and which is best (which at times is not the same).

That brethren are to care for one another is seen in numerous passages. In describing the local church as a body with many different parts each working together, Paul comments on the equal importance of each part saying, “that there should be no schism in the body, but that the members should have the same care for one another.” (1 Corinthians 12:25). In 2 Corinthians, Paul gives an example of this caring in Titus being willing to come to them. He said, “But thanks be to God who puts the same earnest care for you into the heart of Titus” (8:16). Caring for one another is seen in the command to love one another as continually stressed by John, “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God” (1 John 4:7). Earlier in his letter he gave an example of this saying, “By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. But whoever has this world's goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him?” (1 John 3:16-17). To the Romans Paul wrote, “Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love” (Romans 12:10). All of these verses and many, many more show the importance of brethren caring for one another. And we can clearly that it involves more than mere words of concern. Caring is the very fiber of a strong church that is united both in doctrine and attitude.

One of the greatest examples of caring for brethren is seen in Paul. He lived as he did because he cared about his brethren (2 Corinthians 11:28, Colossians 2:1-2). At times it caused him to travel great distances to see brethren (Acts 15:36). It prompted him to write letters, many of which were filled with rebuke to correct errors that endangered souls. ALWAYS, it prompted him to pray for them (Colossians 1:3). Consider just one example found in 2 Corinthians 7:12 where Paul explains why he wrote as he did. He said, “Therefore, although I wrote to you, I did not do it for the sake of him who had done the wrong, nor for the sake of him who suffered wrong, but that our care for you in the sight of God might appear to you.” We could learn much from Paul both about how important it is that we care for our brethren and HOW we care for them.
Let us now look at some examples of how we are to care for one another.

Correcting a brother in error. If we really care about our brethren, our first priority will be their spirituality. More than anything, we want them right before God. That is why when we see a brother sinning, we are to go to him (Galatians 6:1; James 5:19-20). Jesus said that going to our brother is the FIRST step to making things right. Notice Matthew 18:15, which says, “Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.” It is only when one does not respond to personal admonition that others or the church are to become involved (18:16-17). Too often today, the first thing some brethren do is run to everybody but the one involved. Not only is such an attitude sinful (its called gossip, tattling, slander, etc), it also shows that you really DON’T care about your brother and working out your differences. USUALLY when one goes to others it is to build up a case against them and in your favor. I will grant that there may be times when one is TRULY seeking advice in dealing with a delicate situation from one who is more matured in the faith, but at times even this is used with ulterior and evil motives. When we go to a brother in error in a proper way, truly we manifest that we care for their souls.

Another way we show that we care is by encouraging our brethren to do what is right. Perhaps you have heard the saying, “the best medicine is prevention”. That is something that we ought to think about in dealing with our brethren. When possible, we need to show them the right direction BEFORE they go the wrong way. Stronger, more mature Christians need to encourage those who are young in the faith. 1 Thessalonians 5:14 says, “ Now we exhort you, brethren, warn those who are unruly, comfort the fainthearted, uphold the weak, be patient with all.” Note Paul’s attitude toward these brethren saying, “But we were gentle among you, just as a nursing mother cherishes her own children. So, affectionately longing for you, we were well pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God, but also our own lives, because you had become dear to us. For you remember, brethren, our labor and toil; for laboring night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you, we preached to you the gospel of God.” (1 Thessalonians 2:7-9). When times are tough, we need to tell them to “hang in there” letting them know that we DO care about them. But too often, instead, we criticize. While criticism is good when it is done properly, there are many who do not know how to say anything nice. In reality, they don’t care enough to think about what they are saying and HOW they are saying it. I am convinced that the way something is said often has as great an impact as what is said (i.e. – you can tell someone the truth even if it is NOT pleasant and they will respond positively, IF they KNOW that you care). Brethren are NOT to be criticizers. Consider passages like Galatians 5:15; Philippians 2:14-15; 2 Corinthians 12:20-21, etc. Preachers also have the awesome responsibility of encouraging brethren to do what is right. Paul told Timothy his task saying, “Preach the word. Be ready in season and out of season. Convince, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and teaching” (2 Timothy 4:2). When we care, our words to others will show it.

Attending the worship services and supporting the work of the church. Our primary purpose for coming together is to worship God (John 4:23-24; Ephesians 5:19; etc.). But an additional benefit in our worship services is that we build up one another. Numerous passages tell us this. Colossians 3:16 says, “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.” 1 Corinthians 14:12 states, “Even so you, since you are zealous for spiritual gifts, let it be for the edification of the church that you seek to excel.” A study of the context indicates that Paul is dealing with one’s conduct in the assembly. We are somewhat familiar with Hebrews 10:24-25 where the writer wrote, “And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.” He speaks of one who abandons his brethren because he does not assemble. Ultimately, the context indicates one who completely quits the Lord, but would the point not be equally relevant for one who chooses to neglect his brethren because he would rather be with those of the world? In reality, he does not care about his brethren.
One who is weak in his attendance does not realize how discouraging it is to those who make sacrifices to worship God at every opportunity they have. Let me give a personal illustration. I have two boys who are in or nearing middle school age. They both enjoy band. More than once we have had to tell teachers that they would not participate in an activity (or have to leave early) so that they could attend Wednesday Bible study. We believe that this service is just as important as any other and we have determined that our children will be where they OUGHT to be as often as possible. But not everyone thinks this way. They allow their children to miss services for any and every school or organizational activity. I cannot help but wonder why so many activities are scheduled on Wednesdays. I am convinced that one reason is that brethren (and so-called believers in the religious world) will not stand up to the schools and organizations and let them know where their priorities should be. If scheduling activities on Wednesdays meant that schools would consistently see a major drop in participation I am convinced they would reconsider when they schedule them. Meanwhile, this will continue to make it difficult for my family and others who want our children to enjoy wholesome activities (like music, sports and Boy Scouts, etc.) but see worshipping God as more important. How much do permissive parents care about their brethren who are wrestling with this issue, both with their children and with schools, scouts, Little League, etc. who surely DON’T CARE how we feel? While one might SAY that he cares, his actions show HOW much he REALLY cares. Think about it!

Sometimes caring just means giving moral support and sympathy as needed. By being there for one another when we are needed shows that we care. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 says, “Therefore comfort each other and edify one another, just as you also are doing.” Hebrews 12:12 says, “Therefore strengthen the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees.” In describing the concern we are to have for one another, Paul stated that as brethren we will, “ Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep” Romans 12:15.

Next we notice that they care by helping physically with needs. It has been said that Christians are the richest people on earth. While we may not have everything we want in life we do have brethren who are there to help us in every possible way. Acts 2-4 give examples of brethren helping one another as needs arose. They were even willing to sacrifice for the sake of their brethren. In the Corinthian letter Paul commended the brethren of Macedonia for their sharing even in deep poverty (2 Corinthians 8:1-5). When Jesus said, “Assuredly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or lands, for My sake and the gospel's, who shall not receive a hundredfold now in this time -- houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions -- and in the age to come, eternal life.” (Mark 10:29-30) He spoke of the blessing of brethren that we can turn to when even our own families let us down. While obeying the gospel might mean we are disinherited by our physical mother and father, we gain a whole congregation of mothers and fathers who will be there for us when we really need them. When brethren care they will do for one another EVERYTHING they are able to do. Note what John wrote later in life, “But whoever has this world's goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him?” 1 John 3:17. However, let it be understood that if we REALLY care, we are more concerned about what is best for one’s soul than anything else. And that might mean that one may not do exactly what the other wants. Instead, he will do what is BEST for them. It is usually NOT good to give someone everything they want. This was point Jesus made when He refused to make Mary help Martha prepare a meal for Him (Luke 10:40). Mary had chosen that which was BETTER, that “good part which will not be taken away from her.” Read James 2:14-17 for further discussion on this subject.

Going along with point, brethren who care will NOT take advantage of their brethren. There is a real danger for some brethren to rationalize that because someone is their brother or sister in Christ they are obligated to give them whatever they want. NOTHING could be farther from the truth. Such rationalization is self-seeking and often materialistic. The Galatians were told, “For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another” (Galatians 5:13). The point is clearly made that we have no right to take advantage of our brethren for the sake of physical gain. I know of brethren who have resolved never to help others again because of the way their “brethren” took advantage of them. It is because of this that some businessmen who are Christians do everything they can to avoid doing business with their brethren (just like we are warned about doing business with our families). They value the spiritual relationship with Christ too much to jeopardize it over THINGS. Note that I am not saying that if a brother is able and offers to help we cannot accept their services, but simply that we have no right to expect them to lose their livelihood just to help us overcome some physical want or need which probably was a result of our own actions. Paul instructed the brethren of Thessalonica, “If anyone will not work, neither shall he eat.” (2 Thessalonians 3:10). He explains this command saying, “For we hear that there are some who walk among you in a disorderly manner, not working at all, but are busybodies. Now those who are such we command and exhort through our Lord Jesus Christ that they work in quietness and eat their own bread” (11-12).

Do you care how your actions affect your brethren? In doing what he did, Paul was very concerned about the impact his actions had upon brethren. More than one he mentioned a willingness to do without something if it was offensive to his brethren. For instance, 1 Corinthians 8:9-13 says, “But beware lest somehow this liberty of yours become a stumbling block to those who are weak. For if anyone sees you who have knowledge eating in an idol's temple, will not the conscience of him who is weak be emboldened to eat those things offered to idols? And because of your knowledge shall the weak brother perish, for whom Christ died? But when you thus sin against the brethren, and wound their weak conscience, you sin against Christ. Therefore, if food makes my brother stumble, I will never again eat meat, lest I make my brother stumble.” It needs to be noted that the stumblingblock is not merely something that hurts someone’s feelings (our concept of being offended) but something that actually causes a brother to sin as a result of observing our conduct. It was with this in mind that Paul was willing to quit eating meat. Do we care enough about our brethren to consider how our conduct will affect them. We ought to!
And it should be said, that we ought to take care not to be offensive when possible. We must understand that sometimes the truth will offend (Matthew 13:57, 15:12; John 6:61). But the Christian is to strive to be pleasant. Colossians 3:12-13 tells us to, “put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, long-suffering, bearing with one another, and forgiving one another…” (See also Ephesians 5:32). One of the characteristics of Christian love (AGAPE) is kindness (1 Corinthians 13:4). We are to let our gentleness be known to all men, which would include our brethren (Philippians 4:5). Our speech is to be always “with grace, seasoned with salt,…” (Colossians 4:6). This type of a disposition is something that we will only take the time to develop if we really care.

Finally, Do your brethren know that you care? Do they know HOW MUCH you care? Can they REALLY come to you? I know of brethren who will not turn to their fellow brethren (including leaders in the congregation) because of the way they know they will be treated. If we really care we will strive to treat our brethren with dignity and the way we would want to be treated (Matthew 7:12). Make no mistake about it, how much we care is seen in the way we act.