Sunday, October 16, 2011
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GODLY HOMES IN AN UNGODLY WORLD (1)
Introduction
Today, we want to begin a detailed study of the home from a Biblical
perspective. While in times
past we have studied this subject, I believe it is needed again for a
number of reasons:
1)
Because the concept of
the home is being framed by societal standards and media that is most
often inconsistent with the Biblical perspective of the home.
2)
Because we have several
young people who are at a more mature age than when this subject was
last presented (I presented a series of lessons on family problems in
2003, and a study similar to this one about 3 years earlier).
Some are considering marriage and dating and they need a Biblical
understanding of what the godly home consists of.
3)
As a reminder and source
of examination to each of us in the various roles God has prescribed for
us.
4)
Because souls are at
stake. Whatever our God
given roles might be within the home, properly executing those
responsibilities is a command of God.
When we fail to fulfill our roles scripturally, we are disobeying
God and therefore we are guilty of sin and need to repent.
Furthermore, let us not forget our need to be a proper influence
to those outside the body of Christ.
They need to see godly homes that are working.
5)
Because the Biblical
concept of the home is being assaulted, even by so-called Christians and
brethren. I.e. MDR, etc.
6)
Because the home is the
foundation of society. Better
societies are dependent upon better homes.
IN THIS STUDY, we will examine the following topics:
1)
The Need for Godly Homes
2)
The Act of Marriage
3)
What does the Bible say
about divorce and who can remarry?
4)
Dating & choosing a mate
– should you marry a non-Christian?
5)
The Role of Husbands and
Wives
6)
Building a Strong
Marriage in Him
7)
The Role of Parents
8)
Children, Honor your
parents
9)
Dealing with problems in
the home
10)
Building a Godly Home –
What steps can we take to ensure that our homes will remain strong and
intact?
11)
What about singles?
a.
God created the home. In scripture we learn that
marriage (and the home) are from God.
Gen 2:18-25 “18 And the Lord God
said, "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper
comparable to him." 19 Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast
of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to Adam to see
what he would call them. And whatever Adam called each living creature,
that was its name. 20 So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of
the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not
found a helper comparable to him. 21 And the Lord God caused a deep
sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and
closed up the flesh in its place. 22 Then the rib which the Lord God had
taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. 23
And Adam said:
"This is now bone of my
bones
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called
Woman,
Because she was taken
out of Man."
24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his
wife, and they shall become one flesh. 25 And they were both naked, the
man and his wife, and were not ashamed.”
When God created Eve
from the side of Adam, the first home was created, along with the
institution of marriage. In
scripture we find that God created 3 institutions – the home (marriage –
Gen. 2, Matt. 19:4-5), government (Rom. 13:1-2) and the church (Matt.
16:18, Eph. 1:22-23, 3:10, etc.).
The home was created FIRST and both the government (i.e. society)
and the church are dependent upon the home unit.
Matt 19:3-6 says, “The
Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, "Is it
lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?" And He
answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at
the beginning 'made them male and female,'
5 and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and
mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'?
6 So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what
God has joined together, let not man separate."
NOTICE how it was God’s intent
FROM THE BEGINNING that marriage is held in honor and to last for life.
Marriage is the beginning of a
home unit. AS
we study the subject of the home in detail, we are going to find that
God’s word has much to say about virtually every aspect and relationship
within the home. We will
find principles that can greatly enhance the chance for a thriving and
successful home that is virtually shatter proof.
These are principles that if accepted will make society more
healthy.
b.
The home is the
foundational unit of society.
As the home goes, so goes the nation (and community and church).
In other words, what happens in the home will largely affect the
moral compass that will govern everything in society from what is being
taught in our schools, to the laws we pass and enforce, to the way
business affairs are conducted, and to the way mankind responds in moral
situations.
Edward Gibbon in his work, The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire
said that one of the reasons for the fall of the empire was, “the rapid
increase in divorce; the undermining of the dignity and sanctity of the
home…” (1778)
c.
It is no secret that we
live in a society where God is not reverenced as He used to be.
The reasons for this are numerous including ungodly media
influence, placing less emphasis on God in our society (schools, laws,
etc.), attacking the concept of a God who has established an absolute
standard of morality, less respect for authority in general, increased
materialism and worldliness, trends toward compromise and political
correctness (i.e. we’re more concerned about getting along with others
than establishing sound moral standards and enforcing them) and a host
of other reasons. These
attributes have contributed to a break down in the healthy home.
d.
Statistics
i.
Statistics are showing
that marriages are not as happy as they used to be and that marriage is
not held in as high esteem as in times past (i.e. alternatives to
marriage such as cohabitation, promiscuous single lifestyles and
homosexual relationships are viewed as more acceptable now than in
previous years).
ii.
Divorce rates and
cohabitation – In a recent report released by the University of Virginia
dealing with Marriage in America (The State of Our Unions 2010,
The National Marriage Project)[1]
the following are some of the statistics released:
1.
Concerning regular church attendance:
Percentage of 25-60 y/o who attended nearly every week or more the
following statistics were released (p. 49):
NOTE – The significance of this
statistic demonstrates the moral compass of our nation is declining.
It affects attitudes toward marriage and divorce, etc.
|
Regular Church Attendance Nearly Every Week |
|||
|
|
Least Educated |
Moderate Education |
High Education |
|
1972-1978 |
32% |
40% |
38% |
|
2000-2008 |
23% |
28% |
34% |
2.
Cohabitation (i.e.
living together in the same household unmarried.
NOTE: The U.S. Census bureau changed its definition of
cohabitation in 1996) has drastically increased from 523,000 in 1970 to
2.856 MILLION IN 1990 to nearly 6.661 MILLION in 2009, an increase of
some fifteen fold (pp. 75-76) from the 60s-70s.
ALSO, “More than 60% of
first marriages are now preceded by living together, compared to none
nearly 50 years ago.”
3.
The following statistics
show that there were nearly 50% as many divorces as marriages in 2009 in
the U.S. (some states are not included in divorce statistics as they do
not release this information (I wonder why? TATJR). (pp. 62,69).
This has been a TREND for a number of years Notice how LESS
women are getting married, which implies choosing an alternative to
marriage
|
Marriages and Divorces, Per 1000 Women, Age 15 & Older |
|||
|
|
Marriages |
Divorces |
|
|
1970 |
76.5 |
14.9 |
|
|
1985 |
56.2 |
21.7 |
|
|
2009 |
36 |
16.4 |
|
NOTE: From 1970 to
present, the divorce rate is higher EVEN though there are less getting
married.
4.
Factors that DECREASE
the likelihood of divorce (p. 73) (From 50%)
|
Factors |
Percentage of Decrease |
|
Making $50K per year (vs. under
$25K) – economically stable |
-30%
|
|
College graduate vs. H.S. drop
out |
-25% |
|
Having a child 7 months or more
after marriage vs. before marriage |
-24% |
|
Marrying after age 25 vs. under
18 |
-24% |
|
Coming from an intact family vs.
divorced parents |
-14% |
|
Religious affiliation vs. none |
-14% |
|
|
|
These statistics show
that maturity, self-control, stability and a religious foundation
increase the likelihood of success in a marriage.
More on this as this study develops.
iii.
These statistics and
others show that what God’s word says about the home is not regarded as
highly as it used to be and ought to be.
BUT, as Christians, we must strive to be pleasing to God in these
matters as in all things. It
is something we need to be working on!
We are reminded in scripture that we are to be the salt and light of the
earth (Matt. 5:13-16). Jesus
is speaking of our example.
And this certainly applies to our homes.
Society desperately needs to see MORE GODLY homes that are
thriving and happy. It is
with that in mind that we engage in this study.
a.
Simply stated, a godly
home is one where the pattern found within scripture is realized and
followed. It is a home built
upon a godly foundation: Psalm 127:1, “Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it;
Unless the Lord guards the city, the watchman stays awake in vain.”
Prov. 12:7, “The wicked are overthrown and are no more, but the house of
the righteous will stand.”
Prov. 24:3-4, “Through wisdom a house is built, And by understanding it
is established; By knowledge
the rooms are filled With all precious and pleasant riches.”
Josh 24:15, “And if it seems evil
to you to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves this day whom you will
serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other
side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell.
But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."
b.
A home where the Bible
is studied and prayers are offered all the time.
Like Timothy in 2 Tim. 3:14-15 which describes how from childhood he had
known the holy scriptures able to make one wise.
The godly home will study the Bible regularly.
As Moses instructed parents in Deut. 6:6-9 says, “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. 7 You
shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them
when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down,
and when you rise up. 8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and
they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9 You shall write them on
the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”
PRAYER will also be seen regularly – 2 Thess. 5:17
A home where attendance with brethren is a priority – Heb. 10:24-25
c.
A home where everyone understands and fulfills their roles.
Husbands lead the family with love and integrity – Eph. 5:25-29.
They practice self-control as they raise their children – Eph.
6:4. They are THERE for
their family. He leads by
example!
Wives submit to their husbands and raise the children properly – Eph.
5:22-24, Titus 2:4-5. She
fulfills here role by example.
Children obey and honor their parents – Eph. 6:1-3.
d.
A home where God is
reverenced.
Timothy had dwelling within the genuine faith that dwelt first in his
mother, Eunice, and his grandmother, Lois. (2 Tim. 1:5).
Where God is reverence, profanity is not tolerated (Heb. 12:28).
There is moral purity and honesty.
Adequate time is given to godly pursuits and worldliness and
materialism are checked at the door.
May
we find many more homes like this.
It is a must IF our society is to survive the immoral onslaught
that seems to be getting bigger and bigger.
It is a must IF there is to be
sound churches in the land for future generations.
But even more than that, it is a must IF we are to save our own
family in the end. While
reaching every lost soul that we possibly can ought to be the concern
each of us has, certainly our families need to be a priority.
Why? Because they are
the one’s closest to us on this earth (at least they ought to be) and we
have the greatest opportunity with them.
Let us use it wisely.
As we engage in this study of the home, may we do so with the earnest
desire to be create homes where God is honored and society is made a
little better because we are in it.
May this study provoke us to that end.